Ah yes, lightning struck the other night. You know, hot air, colliding with warm, as front rubs against front, out of nowhere, sudden and silky smooth, lightning struck. Crackling through the radio, as lightning often does, it forced me to amplify the AM dial in vain hope of sorting through the static. An electrical storm for sure – this electric event was no meteorological moment however – as the 6 candidates for the Democratic nomination for the 1st Congressional District waged a war of tongue wagging on WGAN. So outlandish were their opinions even Ken and Mike sounded as journeyed sages when juxtaposed against these jokers.
The “Lightning Round”. Question 1: “Do you favor impeachment of President Bush and Dick Cheney?” Each allowed a one-word response – “yes”, “yes”, “YES” “er, ah, no”, “yes”, “waste of time” – in order, Chellie, Michael, Ethan, Adam, Mark, and Steve. The half-witted half dozen, from among this group is our next congressman. The more I listened the more I learned. Question 2: “Would you favor drilling in ANWAR?” A resounding “NO!” from each. Next question: “How would you lower fuel prices?” Each, according to his knowledge, to each, according to his needs, all of the super 6 said “institute a windfall profit tax of the oil companies”. Huh? Where did these guys go to school, the Marx Institute for Macroeconomics? Cutting supply and adding cost will lower prices? Politicians simply stating that they’d do these two things drive the futures market ever higher. All we can do is break out in that old refrain “Give me a drone who prefers the caribou roam, and we won’t be able to heat our home…”.
One blessing from my birthright as a kid raised on the farm is my inability – even after all these years since the family sold off the cows – to stay up much past 7pm. So, as I nodded towards sleep and away from the no nukes nuts, I found some solace in slumber. The next morning, however, I was awakened by another crowing coo-coo on the very same station.
Governor Baldacci – my buddy (I really do like him) – was doing a little piece on the slowing economy. “Congress must enact a second economic stimulus package!” he proclaimed. When pressed for details he laid it on us. “Extend unemployment benefits and increase food stamp entitlements”. If this were a singular event, I might have been able to start my day on a positive note but, after the proceeding night’s nay bobbing, I just couldn’t take it. Stimulate the economy by encouraging people not to work? Restart the housing market with more meal money?
When it comes to some things, I aren’t the brightest bulb going, but when it comes to turning this boat in the right direction, these boobs know bubkus.
Did Lucky strike out with this one? Make your Maine Point and contact Lucky Cambridge at Lucky@maine.rr.com.
