NOW FOR THIS COMMERCIAL! The Maine tradition of early political promos is well underway. All the 1st District candidates – save one, Mr. Meister – have blessed us with electronic media. Republican and Democrat, radio and television, 7 out of the 8 are comin’ at us. Just too yummy not to comment.
Among the Democrats, Michael Brennan had the initial offering. A T.V. spot that, at first, looks to be an amateurish youtube skit – maybe because it is an amateurish youtube skit. Talk about the “Blair Brennan Project”. Just horrible.
Recently turned Democrat Adam Cote was next up on the box. The first time I saw it was immediately after “Brennan Head”. It was fantastic – kind of like how fantastic a hot shower is when you’re very dirty. One positive note about Cote’s ad – Adam avec eyeliner saves us from Michael’s Munjoy Masterpiece.
Chellie Pingree is sticking with what didn’t work in 2002 – the “I’m pissed off because somebody hit me in the forehead with a hatchet” gig. Girded with plenty of campaign cash, the Pingree camp contracts with high-level media production therefore using a camera slightly more sophisticated than a Brennan cell phone. Even though it’s evident that Cote’s 14-year-old niece had the day off from doing make-up, no amount of filler or base can hide that cleft sitting smack-dab in the middle of Chellie’s squash. One thing comes across – She’s still pissed off.
Next – Ethan – Julliard on the Bayside – the guy with one name, my main man Strimling is superb. Confidently he conveys to patrons of a local eatery just how much America sucks. “They’ve taken our pensions” he exhorts – “The Gulf War I’m for is between the rich and the rest of us”. Us? With hair like that, he ain’t of us. If you’ve seen Strimling’s act once, you’ve seen the full Monty. Old hat Ethan.
Mark Lawrence wants to impeach the President. At least I think he does. “I’m a D.A. blah, blah, blah…” He wants to bag Bush and notch another one on his prosecutorial bedpost. Not so fast Mister-rep-of-the-people. If you win – a very big if – you get sworn in right before W vacates the premises. It’s akin to spending a bunch of dough to evict a tenant who has already given notice and moved their stuff out. Thank you for playing Mark but, no dice.
Steve Meister apparently doesn’t want to play and, as of this writing, remains media-mute. Mike Brennan’s ad will certainly secure next-to-last place for Dr. Meister however.
Now Charlie and Dean over there to the right of your radio dial. Each has spots up on the AM stations – each attacking the other for various substantive issues. Charlie – just returned from distant battlefields – can’t order a coffee and bagel without invoking Iraq – which, in all candor, is his entire shtick. Team Dean is said to have a T.V. spot ready for release. Rumor has it that, if played backwards at ten-times speed on any 1980’s 8mm projector, it simply says, “Dutch is dead” over and over. Stay tuned on that one. In the meantime, Dean Scontras does attempt to trump the Summers’ tactic of wearing “Multinational Forces in Iraq” on his sleeve by attacking Charlie on the political battlefield. Near apoplectic over a vote cast in 1991, Dean hammers Charlie as a tax raiser. Summers slams back in a little tit-for-tat radio tiff that would be funny if it weren’t so pathetic. Dean did go negative first – clearly miffed at Summers’ superior height advantage (just kidding). Getting down and dirty hasn’t really worked all that well in Maine leaving us with the question “Will June 10th be Scontras’ Waterloo?”
All in all, 8 very weak campaigns highlighted by 8 very weak multi-media productions. But what else could we expect? This is Maine – the way politics should be. And, come what may on June 10th, in November we will have our habitually weak 1st District Representative. Ah, tradition!
